Below is the only way I’ve been able to grasp all of the things that happened last year, that have affected me. Its cryptic, but it had to be. Enjoy.
What I learned in 2007.
I learned that I can spend two years on a project everyone excitedly pushed through to the end, only to find out how flawed it was all along and had to be redone at the last-minute.
I learned that I can study a topic, know the definitions and ideas cold, but that it is all useless when confronted with the reality of someone suffering from the very problems I was trying to solve.
I learned that gossip is simply vindictiveness or self-importance in disguise. I’ve learned gossips are usually the first to abandon their topic in a crisis, since they feel they are above the one they hurt. I learned that supporting someone’s life is a choice and not a right, to the detriment of loved ones.
I learned that some people will be your friends because they need a shoulder to lean on, but the moment the stable person in their lives has issues they get away as fast as humanly possible. I learned that few people will give their own time to deal with my problems when they consider theirs larger, and I must then bear the weight of both upon my shoulders. I learned that when I allow it, others will consume as much of my time as they possibly can.
I learned that there are those who will break my heart, and not even care, or worse not even notice. I learned that I cannot choose who my heart loves, but that I can, in fact, choose to follow my heart or leave it behind. I learned that heartbreak doesn’t necessarily go away simply because I have walked away from whatever caused it.
I learned that people who profess love as their core identity are sometimes the people who are least likely to give it, while the people who don’t profess it, are the ones who so freely give it when required. I learned that the people who attend weddings may never be the lifelong friends I imagined they were. I learned that ultimatums never work; they only clarify how little respect the person giving the ultimatum has for the person receiving it.
I learned that if I just ask for help, rather than assume I have to keep it all inside, that some friend will answer the call. I learned that the person who keeps everyone’s secrets is the person the most likely to be suffering alone. I learned that a crisis will bring out all the turmoil hidden inside myself, and that it must come out somehow, so I might as well share with someone I trust. I learned that being vulnerable makes me more approachable, and less inhuman.
I learned that I can do great things when I choose to step forward, get noticed, and try something new. I learned that while I am shy, I am brave enough to meet new people, and make new friends.
I learned that the ideas worth pursuing are the ones that pursue me.
I learned that I cannot maintain all the friendships I’ve had in my life, and that it is worth walking away from those who indicate they don’t really care. I learned that true friends are the ones who stick around to say goodbye when you leave to pursue life in a different place, or the ones who wait to greet you when you arrive.
I learned that there is one person who will go the distance with you when needed. I learned that people are busy, but out of sight doesn’t always mean out of mind.
I learned that a person can change for the better before my eyes, and I am so consumed with my life that I never notice enough to ask about it.
I have learned that all things, my behavior, and that of others towards me and the people I know, affect my faith, and the core of who I am, which means it must also affect others too. I learned that healing is a long, never-ending process, either because I scratch the healing wounds, or because new bruises have been added. I learned that healing is worthwhile, if I am ever to be whole.